Further research

Well, calling my Inquiry:  Fear of Performance,  may not have been the brightest move. If you put that title into a search engine, most answers you get back suggest you take viagra. Plus,  genuine literature on the subject is a bit thin on the ground.
I went to Foyles in the west end and their data base showed no books on the subject. Even the person behind the counter said " That's a great topic. Someone should write a book on it."
However, I did find a book aimed at musicians that dealt with nerves/confidence,  and quite a few self- help books.
I am now considering  both in my literally reviews.

6c Inquiry Title

I have decided to title my inquiry : The Fear of Performance.

I felt the title should be short and snappy, so as to grab the reader's attention.
The reason I have chosen this title is because it resonates with me on a personal level.
As a young child I was frightened of standing up in class and presenting my work. This fear of being the centre of attention, would leave me trembling, sweaty, and tongue tied.
As I grew older, this feeling stayed with me. The voice of doubt would always shout down any attempt to succeed.
I  went on to study music. But my performance exams were a nightmare. The nerves would come to the fore. In my panic, my hands would literally stop working.
In my desperation, I searched out a course to help with my affliction. The course was called Confidence through Drama. Once a week I would meet with others, different ages, from every walk of like, but all with one thing in common : the fear of getting up in front of people and performing.
The rest is history (not world shattering history, just my own humble history) Having been bitten by the acting bug, I went on to study at drama school. By now I had grown in confidence, I knew I could act, though I was aware I still had a lot to learn. I still got nervous before a performance, but no where near as bad.
I imagined at this stage, I was the only one to still feel the effects of nerves. However, as I got to know my fellow students, it soon became apparent that nerves were still an issue for many of us.
Why was this? We were in a safe environment at drama school, and yet nerves plagued us. The desire to do well in front of our peers, the pressure of getting good marks, these and many other external pressures influences our emotions. I did well in class and performance blocks, but always felt, if I could lose my fear I would be a better performer.
I began reading articles, and interviews with seasoned professionals who still suffered from nerves. As well as the physical manifestation brought on by nerves tension, they also mentioned a wavering confidence, the voice inside their head that told them they were no good, or as actors often put it "the fear of being found out".
I soon realised that nerves were not a beast that could be killed, but one that could, perhaps, be tamed.
Recently, I was having trouble with the audition process. I contacted an established actor, on Twitter, and he gave me some advice.
On my next audition I followed his suggestions. The results were great.
I had followed a one sentence instruction, and my audition process had improved.
It got me thinking, if I could research the manifestation and coping methods of nerves, in performers, maybe it's results could help others.

Yes, I still get nervous before a performance, but my confidence has come along way, since that first acting course, and I feel with more knowledge behind me I can grow further in confidence, and help others to do so.
I went from a boy shaking nervously in class to a man performing in front of hundreds of people. I'm living proof that it can work.
I hope my research will resonate with all performers, and make them try a new approach, or at the very least, take solace in the knowledge that they are not the only sufferers.
I also hope to take the things I learn in the inquiry, and use them in my future role as a teacher, so that children and adults need not fear performance, but enjoy it for what it is.

 

6b Critical Reflection on Research Tools

I think I got carried away on my explanation in 6a, and so some of my points in 6a will be repeated here in a more detailed form.

Observation.

Observation is a great data collection tool, be it, recorded in notes, video, or audio.
Informing the candidate of your intentions would be the first step, and gaining permission to use the data. Also, if the data is of a sensitive nature, you must be prepared that the candidate will want the information gathered, removed at anytime. This of course can happen with any data gathered. But when it comes to a educational course that depends on me completing an inquiry, I would rather lessen the risk of having to abort part of the project under such time restraints.
Also, with observational reflection, I feel you also run the risk of misinterpreting some of the indicators. For example, I may assume from someones body language that they are nervous/worried, and put that in my inquiry, only to find out that was not the case.
For the purpose of my inquiry, I will observe. However, I am interested in the verbal responses, and should I notice any physical indicators, they can influence my line of questioning, but will not be critiqued in my inquiry. I am aware that I will be asking Actors to talk about personal issues. These may elicit different reactions. I'm not convinced that recording how happy/upset someone was when I posed a question, will help other actors to learn from, and identify with, the verbal answers.
Observation would be an effective tool if I was in a production with my candidates. I could then observe their reactions within the performance environment. But this could be a problem. When Actors are about to shoot a scene or take to the stage, the last thing they want is someone asking them "how they feel." I think I will get more out of the candidates when they can review the experience in retrospect.

The Inquirer as a Participant Observer or Inside Researcher.

My research will not only involve emotions (fear, anxiety) but also different working environments within the profession (audition room, theatre, tv, film). This is so I can investigate if nerves have a direct correlation to the environment.
As the Reader stated, the majority of Inquirers will be regular participants in the practice researched.
I will understand many of the contexts referred to by my 'sample', having worked in the same environments. And not only will I be member of the same community,  but many of my interviewed candidates will be close friends.
I think the fact that I am an active member of the same profession will hold me in good stead, as I will understand the current events and feelings within our community.
The fact that I have a personal relationship with my candidates will mean there is an instant bond/rapport between us. However, this may seem like a plus on the surface, but could prove to be a negative. I will be asking personal questions of my work colleagues,  and they may find it hard to open up. It's not always easy to talk about a shared experience with someone who was there and admit you were nervous, scared, frightened.
I think my research will mean I am an inside researcher to a point, as I will be giving my own account of my experiences. I will also review the interviews and comment on them.
I feel a semi structured approach will be more beneficial. If I am able to refer to some of my own fears and doubts during the interview,  it may make the candidate more willing to reveal theirs. Of course this insider approach means I must be weary at all times that my dialogue with the candidate is not tainting the information. It means playing the role of interviewer and participant. This requires a firm grasp of objectivity.

Interviews.

The interview process will be at the core of my investigation.
I will pick three candidates based on their knowledge and experience within the field. This does not necessarily mean I am going to pick the candidate with the most extensive knowledge, or the longest serving within the profession.
My inquiry will encompass actors at different stages in their careers, and, where possible,  different acting disciplines, such as theatre and film.
The interviews will take place, face to face, in a relaxed environment of the candidate's choosing. All ethical reassures will be expressed, so as to put the interviewee at ease.
The interview will then proceed in a semi-structured form. Introductory questions will be closed, merely requiring a yes or no response. Secondary questions will be open. This will allow the candidate the freedom to answer the topic in greater detail. Open questions will also afford me the opportunity to ask linking question, that can further the study.

Focus group.

Gathering members of the same community in one room, and discussing the inquiry topic, would be beneficial. The group would act as its own support system. This means that the individual candidates may feel more comfortable in numbers, and the more comfortable they are, the more chance they will open up, and express feelings and  opinions they would be reluctant to broach in a one on one interview. The group discussion would take on a more organic approach, it would evolve as it went along. However, I would have to choose my candidates wisely, as many of my colleagues are very confident, opinionated individuals. This is great for firing up a Q&A session. However, they can also prove detrimental to the process, as their strong personalities may guide the session away from its intended course. Unfortunately, the logistics of getting a group of actors together in one room (apart from a theatre group) would prove difficult.

As my inquiry will only have a small number of candidates, and will take a more intimate, approach, I have decided a focus group may not be a viable tool in this instance. However, if the chance to conduct one arises, I will do it.

Journal and Diary

I feel a journal would also be beneficial to the inquiry. Interviews will not be in quick succession. This will allow me to record my reflective journey from one interview to the next. Each interview may influence me, make me rethink my position, my understanding of  nerves. I hope through my inquiry to discover things about my profession, and about myself. The journal will be the best way to document this.

Analysing Data

To aid in my inquiry I will seek out data from books and articles. This data will have to be treated carefully. I will need to determine whether the data has merit - if it is relevant to my inquiry, and if the information provided is from a legitimate source.
I will use the knowledge gleaned from this data to bolster my inquiry, by means of cross referencing. I will be looking for patterns or trends within the material, and see if my candidates express the same views. I want the data to run side by side with my inquiry, not to dominate it. Therefore, selection of complementary material is a must. However, if I find data that goes against the grain, I will need to carefully consider how best to introduce in into the research.

6a Inquiry

I have read the Reader 6. This has been beneficial in bringing to my attention the nuances of structuring an Inquiry.
On Thursday 13th Nov 2013, I conducted an informal interview. This was a one on one interview - a exploratory conversion using my structured questions as a springboard. I found this approach to be more useful to me than a quantitative approach using a questionnaire. True, I had structured questions and some of them were closed questions, but they were merely used as an introduction to open questions. I also found the semi-structured approach meant that if the "sample " candidate mentioned something interesting that related to my Inquiry - but had not been accounted for in my questions - I could follow this new line of questioning. As I am dealing with emotional responses in my inquiry, the qualitative approach to data collection seems more appropriate at this stage. It was also interesting to observe body language during the interview. However, I'm slightly weary of including in in my reports, as I feel I may not be qualified to interpret it correctly.
Interestingly, during the interview my position / role changed. Instead of just being the interviewer, I found myself becoming a participant, as we both discussed the issues raised, and both tried to find answers through mutual opinion and hypothesis. Although, I was mindful of Reflexivity, and always suggested things  in the guise of another open question. Yes, I dictated the topic of conversation ( so that the interview never lost its objective) but never its content.
The results were nothing like I expected. However, they did add an interesting view point to my subject for inquiry. I therefore feel, a qualitative semi structured interview (preferably face to face) is the ideal method of data collection from the sample candidates in my inquiry.

5d

I have joined the BAPP forum on Facebook, as this communities members seem to come from all fields of the Arts.
I have also primed some of my close friends, with the intentions of my inquiry and some one the lines of questioning.

5b Ethics

As I do not teach at present, my codes of conduct cannot be found within the education system.
As a self employed actor my first contact is with my union Equity.
Equity chairs meetings regularly to discuss, the working conditions of it's members, rates of pay, safety, and the government handling of the arts. Tax and National Insurance are also hot tops of discussion. Each subject addressed comes with its own rules and regulations.
Equity has a vast list of ethical codes of conduct for performers in Theatre, TV, Film, to variety acts in nightclubs, and cruise ship entertainers. These codes of conduct can vary from situation to situation. Nevertheless, the general rules of conduct pertaining to, and expected of a professional performer are universal. These include such things as: punctuality, rehearsal etiquette, and the dreaded mobile phone in a performance space.

The Actors Equity Association (not to be confused with our Equity) lays out these general rules of conduct, nicely http://www.actorsequity.org/docs/outreach/etiquette.pdf

An interesting addition here is the Home Office UK Border code of conduct for foreign performers working in the UK http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/documents/employersandsponsors/pointsbasedsystem/code_of_practice_for_perfor1.pdf

5c Ethics Reader

The Reader introduction said "Ethics is a fascinating area of study." That seems to be the case, as I found this Reader to be one of the most interesting so far.
Ethics comes from the Greek word ethos, to mean"character".
In Robert McKee's (1999) guide to writing, entitled Story, he makes a distinction between characterization and character for the purpose of creative writing. Characterization is the physical appearance, traits, mannerisms, drive. Whereas character is only shown through the choices a person makes in a moment of crisis (this is often in the form of a moral/ethical conflict within the character). Great stories are built on this. We as a people, seem to be fascinated with the ethical choice, be it in literature or film.
Imagine it : Our main character is a thief. Whilst robbing a jewelry store at night, he sees a fire in the adjacent building. A woman cries that her child is still in the building.
Our thief must make an "ethical choice" - get away clean (professional ethic) or save the child and risk the possibility of being caught (personal ethic).
So he saves the child. The child is returned to the waiting arms of the mother, and the thief finds himself in the waiting arms of "New York's finest ".
However, upon hearing of the thief's heroism, the arresting officer is faced with an "ethical choice" - continue with the arrest (the professional ethic) or let the man go ( the personal ethic).

Personal and Organisational Ethics.

Personal ethic seems to be built on the influence of family and peers, re-enforced by the law: a codified series of Do's & Don'ts  endorsed by the masses for the good of the masses.
Originally, I was going to write that the law is there to boaster our own ethical code - the law being a backline of defence : if unsure consult the law. However sometimes the law seems to be at odds with the personal ethic. Up until recently, the age of marriage/consent in Vatican City was Twelve.
This was law, but to western ethical standards this was wholly abhorrent. Pope Francis announced an age raise to Eighteen, in light of child abuse cases in the Catholic church. Was pressure from the outside world also a contributing factor in the change? It would not be the first time that someone has re-evaluated their moral position due to the general/ social ethic of the masses.
Case study 2 is a case in point. The photographer Kevin Carter tragically took his own life.
Did his conscience get the better of him, only after winning a Pulitzer Prize for his photo? In effect prospering from someone else's death - a death that he could have averted. Or did he take his life when the public, ( mass ethical pressure) discovered the story surrounding the photo.
Another case is that of Dr Gil Lederman. Dr Lederman was sued by George Harrison's family. They claimed that whilst the terminally ill George Harrison lay dying, Lederman forced him to sign autographs. When the case came to the publics attention, there was an outcry. Lederman had crossed a professional ethical line for his own gain. The Doctor, faced with ethical pressure from the public, later announced that he would sell the autographs for charity.

Professional Ethic

I have given a couple of examples of how personal ethical positions can shift, due to the mass ethical position. However, the Clapham omnibus shows that societies ethical view and the law, is in constant state of flux. It changes in sympathy with the changing world.
Professional Ethics can also change to reflect the current climate.
In 1954 the American Comic book industry was in trouble. The government was accusing it of lowering the moral standards of young readers. In some cities, organised comic book burning took place. Faced with  imposed Government regulations, the Comic book industry chose to form a self-regulating body. And so, from that moment on, all comic books carried a stamp on the cover stating " Approved by the Comic Code." This code meant the comic would follow strict guide lines. It was prohibited to show policemen, judges, and government officials in a bad light. Within the story, good would always have to prevail over evil. Law enforcement officers could never be seen to die at the hands of the criminals. Plus,  the portrayal of sex, violence and demonic creatures were forbidden.
Through the prevailing years, tastes, and opinions changed, to the point where some of the ethical/ artistic issues of conduct were no longer an issue. The code was still placed on the cover, because many major advertisers felt re-assured by it, and would therefore place their ad's within those comics. By 2000 many comic companies had abandoned the code, and yet were still  able to secure advertising revenue. The two biggest comic companies; Marvel and DC eventually dropped the code ( Marvel in 2001. DC in 2011.) in favour of their own age rating system.
By 2011, the last of the comic companies to retain the code, announced it would be removing the stamp from it's covers.
The Ethical code was gone. Replaced by a new set of guidelines to fall in line with the changing world. A world exposed to, and tolerant of, a more explicit depiction of sex and violence, and crime and establishment corruption.

Personal Ethic vs Professional Ethic

Returning to the case of photographer Kevin Carter. The idea that the professional ethic of a photographer is to observe and not interfere, is interesting. Does this mean that being a licensed voyeur makes you unaccountable where life and death is concerned. We could therefore say anyone without moral conscience need only to strap a camera around their neck to be exonerated. I think the moral issue is not that he failed to save the girl's life, but that he failed to do anything.
If you are on stage and a woman in the front row is choking to death - do you continue performing, because your professional ethic dictates "The show must go on." ?

My Professional Ethic

Once I finished the Reader, I went back over my original plan for a ethically sound Inquiry. I think my instincts were correct on Data Protection and Human Rights. However if my Inquiry encompasses the views of children, I would have to be mindful of health and safety - something I had failed to take into account on my original plan. Also, I took it as a given that I would be courteous when documenting individuals in my report; however, after reading Case Study 5, I realised this was something else I would have to give assurances on, within my plan. Lastly for the integrity of the inquiry, plagiarism is also a ethical responsibility. One, that I had previously taken as a given.

5a Ethics

Ethics is a tough one. As I formulate my inquiry I must be mindful of the ethical safe-guards that need to be in place. These safe-guards not only protect my work, but also give the contributors to my inquiry peace of mind. I say this because, if I proceed with my inquiry based on nerves/fear of performance, I am tapping into something quite personal, and to some performers, sacred. Not everyone is willing to disclose the mental chinks in their armour. Performers at best are an odd lot. We will tell ourselves many strange things before we enter an audition or take to the stage, in an attempt to boaster our confidence. Things we don't necessarily want to share. Also there is the superstition element. It is said when using "Emotional Recall" that if someone in the audience knows what memory you are using, that memory loses its power and becomes ineffectual. It is therefore reasonable to assume that some actors will feel the same about revealing their coping mechanisms.
Let's assume I have been given permission by an actor to use material gathered in a question and answer session.
Firstly, I must make sure I stay on topic - only asking the questions relevant to my inquiry.
I must not judge the answers given, instead respected them for what they are. I say this because a fellow actor recently answered my questions, and the first answer out the gate was "I don't get nervous."
I immediately sunk in my chair - we were of to a great start. But the more I listened, the more I learned that this particular actor experienced other things before taking to the stage. Things that differed to my preconceived notion of how these questions and answers would play out.
This brings me to the next ethical point. The answers given must be included in the study, no matter if they seem to steer your inquiry in a different direction. You cant predict the outcome of your investigation. Neither should you try to fit the facts to your inquiry. The eventual evolution of your inquiry - is the inquiry.
Lastly, consent and data protection.
I must reassure my candidates that any material gathered will be used for the purpose of my inquiry within the university, and not for wider publication. This can be achieved with a consent form, a guarantee. I imagine
I would also have to guarantee that, should the candidate want their contribution removed from the study at any point, this would be implemented. This brings me to a grey area at present. If the contributor wants to remain anonymous, does that affect the credibility of my study?
I am toying with the idea of changing my inquiry to Confidence Through Drama. I could still use evidence I have collated, but if I was to proceed with this new inquiry it would now possibly include the experiences of child. This presents another series of ethics. Not only would I need to gain parent permission before asking any questions, but for legal reasons the parents would need to be present.
Whatever the nature of my inquiry, once it is over I need to dispose of the material gathered, responsibly.
If this has been gathered on Dictaphone, the recording must be erased. Likewise any material stored on computer must be wiped from the hard drive. Written material can either be returned to the individual contributors or shredded.

4d Reviewing material

I have started to work through material relating to my topic of Fear/Nerves.
What I have found interesting is that writers who deal with public speaking cover how crippling anxiety can be. Things as a performer I would have never considered ie people choosing not to progress up the corporate ladder, purely because of their fear of public speaking.
I found an anxiety couch online http://www.anxietycoach.com/performanceanxiety.html  who made the interesting distinction between public speaker and performer. He pointed out that both suffer nerves, the difference being the performer has the dilemma that her or she needs to perform. That is the life they have chosen.
He goes on to refer to nerves as "the heckler in your mind." This I think is an accurate analogy. I personally have experienced times when I'm trying to answer back to a destructive voice in my head whilst about to take to the stage.
What was made apparent in this article was that you cannot get rid of anxiety completely. Some people apparently make the mistake of trying to do this. But if you are successful at banishing them in their entirety for one performance, if they resurface in the next performance, the effects on your confidence  will be greater. I can see that as a realistic out come.
Instead one  approach is to work with your nerves. This is probably what I refer to when I say turning  your nerves into a positive force.
David Leisner is a guitarist who also offers way of controlling nerves during performance.http://www.davidleisner.com/guitarcomposer/noname.html Having studied Classical guitar myself, and later giving it up because of nerves- many of the ways nerves manifest in a musician, resonated with me. Speeding up the tempo of a piece, playing wrong notes or not being able to execute correct finger articulation are just a few.

One of his remedies was what he called "Auto Pilot." This is where you relax and let your long term memory take over. This is nothing new. But it did make me question whether this technique only worked for musicians. Does it apply to Dancers as well ? As an actor  being on auto pilot is the last thing I want. I need to be in the moment, reacting to every circumstance as it comes.
I have noticed some overlapping in remedies for performance nerves.
Breathing exercises seem to be a physical universal tool for calming nerves and bringing down the heart rate.
On the mental side, many suggest re conditioning your thinking. Example being: remembering people have come to see a performance, and not necessarily you alone. It's about placing emphasis on the external not the internal. I think this is a sound approach. I know many a time I have made it all about me and my fears, my insecurities, instead of just going out there and performing.
Lastly, I just wanted to mention a medical website I chanced upon. A pianist was asking how to get over performance nerves. The doctor said he suffered from GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) and this could be remedied by taking a beta blocker such as Propranolol.
This raises the issue of chemical intervention. I have always assumed that performance anxiety should be dealt with organically. But it seems one option is to treat it like any other mental disorder and throw pills at it.
I admit, during my classical guitar performance exams I was prescribed and took tablets to relax me. Yes I performed in a relax state but I'm convinced my performance would have been more alive had there been a natural surge of nervous energy running through my system. Slightly off topic, so I'll end it there.

4c Developing questions

As mentioned before, I have re evaluated my questions based on feedback I recieved on my orginal questions.
I have recently sent my questions out to my general group of acting associates.
I have asked in what situations do nerves materialise. Because some of my associates teach, whilst others perform.
I have asked how their nerves manifest. This is an important question as I imagine we experience nerves in different ways (I may be proved wrong).
Also what their coping mechanisms are. This will be interesting as I know some of us have very interesting rituals to keep the demons at bay.
The question about nerves being used as a positive force, I think is relevent, because I know from personal experience nerves can be channelled in a way that can heighten your awareness and drive you through a performance. It will be interesting to see if my colleagues feel the same.
I have put these questions on an open forum inviting people to discuss the topic. I have also said that they can email me direct if privacy is required, and that I will not use any of the answers given without first seeking their approval.

4b SIG

SIGs seem to be a bit thin on the ground dealing with this topic. I have joined a facebook page for Forum theatre.  They specialise in theatre dealing with depression and anxiety.

4a Inquiry update

Well, I'm a bit behind. (Lots of stuff happening. Imminent homelessness being but one) but hopefully I can catch up.
I have restructured my questions.
I originally called my inquiry The Fear of Acting.
But after reading some of the responses I received to my questions by dancers,  I am opening it up to all performers.
Although I have titled it The Fear of...
I am really talking about nerves/confidence. Therefore my questions will now be as follows :
1 When do you experience nerves. At auditions, teaching, or performing?

2 How do your nerves manifest ?

3 What are your coping mechanisms

4 Can your nerves ever be turned into a positive force, if so when and how ?

My plan is to put these questions to three actors in different stages of their careers. One will be an actor just starting out,  another will be predominantly a stage actor, and the last is a tv actor.

Inquiry Outline

Hi everyone
I attended the last campus session which I found very beneficial. Listening to the Module 3 students  helped me formulate ways in - steps I could take to developing my Inquiry. I now had ideas how I could proceed with my investigation, all I needed now was something to investigate.
Towards the end of the last module I touched on something I called the Fear of Acting, and thought I might try an investigate this. I have seen literature written about the mental and physical aspects of performance from the view point of a classical musician.
Fear of Acting is quite a large banner, so let me break it down a bit.

I'm interested in exploring it's negative and positive effects.  Something as a performer we attempt to conquer and  equally embrace.

The first acting class I ever attended was called Confidence Through Drama. The class was made up of people taking their first steps into acting, business people who loathed the idea of speaking at meetings, and others who found it difficult to find their voice in work/social situations. We all came for different reasons. However we  all came to conquer a common enemy: Fear.
Years later I attended Drama School.
The first exercise we did was a trust exercise. An exercise designed to build confidence in you and your awareness of the support around you.
Actors live with fear everyday.
Many actors will confess to the fear "of being found" out. The fear that they will not be able to inhabit a role successfully. The fear of failing an audition. The fear of stepping on stage, speaking the lines.
Of course these are things that are discussed in classes, among actors. There are ways the fear is tackled, on a personal level and with protocols learnt
.Improvisation is one such tool. As well as being a performance tool in its own right, it also means should something happen during a performance, an actor can use improvisation to keep the story moving along until an appropriate point of return to the text is found.
Lastly as an actor, fear is a sensation to be embraced and used in performance.

I'm not sure how I want to progress with this topic or if it is an adequate topic for investigation.

What do you think, guys ?

Frustration

In fear that my writing projects were dominating over my acting projects, I had a meeting with a director/friend, and agreed to perform in a new writing showcase.
I have not been on stage for over a year, and saw this as the ideal opportunity to get back in the game.
We met in a rehearsal studio for a chat.
One of the other showcase pieces was an actor short for the first read- through, and so I was asked to stand in. I agreed.
I could feel my nervous energy kick in. You know,  the kind that works for you,  not against you.
But within a few minutes my nervous energy was replaced by something quite different: frustration.
The actors reading of the material was lacking energy and any kind of creative input. This sounds like a harsh observation, I know. But at drama school, we were taught to invest in a part from the very first reading. Try something. Anything. Doesn't matter if it later becomes apparent that the director wants to take it in another direction. Do something and fail. Fail gloriously. No one cares as long as you "bring something to the table."
The piece in question will improve before it goes in front of an audience,  this I have no doubt.
My frustration lies in my belief that I will only improve as an actor, when I'm the one needing to raise my game, not waiting for others to do so.
If this sounds arrogant, I apologise.
I wish only the best for my fellow actors. I only ask one thing of them: If you desire a professional life in a creative field- then be creative.

Assignment 4a

As I am still formulating my Inquiry I have posed four question( more to come later).
Be it artist, dancer, actor, we all face physical and mental challenges in the pursuit of our craft. Although my questions are directed to actors, I feel they easily can apply to anyone going through the creative process.

1. Nerves: do you get them during the creative process/ performance? Are they help or hindrance?
2. When asked, some actors say they fear "being found out." What does this mean to you?
3. What does it mean to you to " to be in the moment." ?
4. What does it mean to you to be a "professional" actor?

The right to write.

I have just sold my first script. It is a short film made by a dept of the BBC  that will go into production end of June (fingers crossed).
Of course my involvement in the project is over. I was brought on board as the writer and have fulfilled my duties...or so I thought.
The director was very happy with the final draft. She passed it amongst friends, and the criticism started to flow in. I say flow but it was more of a trickle, as no one had big problems with the story, only minor ones.
My first reaction to these comments was one of a defensive position. I felt these were opinions of people that had yet to write a cohesive script of their own.
However on reflection, I saw these as the views of a "test audience" and recognised the value of such.
The director has now shown the script to a few people in the profession, and I await that feedback.
All this feedback will no doubt result in a re-write.
I realise this is all part of the process, however, for a writer it is slightly frustrating. It feels like story by committee. As a writer, you create a story: beginning, middle, end. You create pace. You navigate through a journey with your characters. So, it is alarming when someone else grabs the steering wheel.
I remember the actor Pierce Brosnan, in an interview, told this story.
He had just finished a film, where he played a North American Indian. The film's closing reel depicted the indian's death.
The film was screened before a test audience and the feedback was thus: The audience liked the film, but did not like the ending.
Why? They were asked.
The reply : Because he can't die... he's James Bond.

I feel for the writer on that one.

Best of times. Worst of times.

Had a great audition for a commercial. The premise was that I was to be a man who had just knocked down a motorcyclist. I had to react accordingly.
By the end of the audition, the casting director said she had a lump in her throat.
I took this to mean I had a shot (though this is no guarantee).
My agent emailed me to confirm I had the part.
On the day of filming the commercial was shot from the motorcyclists perspective. This meant no one else would be seen. However the director had a change of heart. And so I found myself centre stage. I was directed through my scene and we filmed about six variation.
It was great to be on set with a crew of 30+ watching on as my scene was shot. Extras were used in the background and the public were kept at the ends of the street. The responsibility to deliver was both frightening and exhilarating.
I went home, feeling I had achieved something.
However a week later, my agent got a letter saying I had done a great job, but didn't make the final edit.
I feel disappointed and frustrated.
I have gone over it in my mind. But the bottom line is, if I let it get to me then Im in the wrong profession.
Take a breath. Stay calm. Move on.

3c Information Gathering.

In any profession, information is a valuable commodity and necessary to the survival of a business.

As an Actor/Writer, I am gathering new information all the time.

The Internet

The internet is my main source of information for a few reasons : It's fast access, a wealth of information at your finger tips, and from a writing point of view much of my research is done in isolation.
For Acting, the internet connects me to websites such as Spotlight and Casting Call Pro. These sites directly supply me with the opportunity to audition or find out about the latest productions.
Also as a historical database,
It aids me in character research.
You tube has a series of actor interviews "In the Actors Studio" which seek to understand the individual performers and their craft.

Books and Magazines

These are another source of information. Books such as "Contacts" and the weekly newspaper "The Stage", give you correspondence info for Agents and Casting Directors.
"The Stage" does this albeit in a smaller capacity. However it does keep you abreast of new productions, new directors on the scene, forthcoming workshops, and news of government legislation that directly affects the arts.

Personal Interaction.

I remember our Principal at Drama School saying " start getting use to pubs and coffee shops, because that is where most business is conducted."

Meetings in person are always the best source of information. You can discuss in real-time. And just as importantly you can see the person, see their body language .Just by getting a visual sense of someone, is a form of information gathering.
Production meetings are at there most fruitful when done face to face. It makes the meeting more relaxed, ,more conversational.

Writing.

Be it a notebook, a computer-come- word processor, or at a push my phone: All are used to store information.
For writing I always  carry a pocket notebook. I use my phone as a notepad and, if Im away from a computer I use it to write this blog. Even If I continue work on another platform later, I use what is available at the time.
I also keep a folder full of handouts from classes and workshops. These are can then reference, as need be.

I think my system of gathering information is affective.  I believe I pretty much have the same system as my peers/collegues. Indeed it was on another actors recommendation that I set up a Twitter account.
I have recently discovered that another actor keeps in contact with the theatres she has toured, as these often have their own companies.
I would like to be more organised in my approach to information gathering. My physical paper trail needs to be more efficient. I also think there are still elements of internet research that I am wary of. Begin selective in what information is relevant to my needs, and verifying said informations authenticity, are areas Id like to improve.

3b continued.

As actors are we not "playing detective" searching for the meaning, that resides within the text? We discuss, we explore. But  the meaning is out there just waiting for us to identify with it?
I'd like to think so. However, as we discuss the text, I am surely drawing on my own experience of reality, imagining, and reforming my understanding of that reality. I then present this to the group, who go through a process of accepting, discounting or embelishing on it.The work is internalised. As an actor I search within to find meaning for the external world. Is this not Constructivism ?

Connectivism

Connectivism, from what I can make out is state of learning, where the foundations of knowledge are constantly evolving. This knowledge is not just drawn from the individuals in a network, but also from external data ie The Internet. The rate at which the knowledge is acquired, is speedy. The desire to have the latest knowledge, high.
This definitely ties in with my professional network.
There are always new opinions on acting, that need to be acknowledge. Opinions can turn into trends. Trends can turn into established practice (for a period of time, anyway).
These acting theories are discussed in the network. It is an even playing field. Any one view can affect the shaping of the knowledge, influence the learning.

All three theories draw on experience to facilitate learning. Constructivism and Objectivism seek internal and external truth. Definitive meaning.
Whilst Connectivism recognises that knowledge as a foundation is constantly reshaping. Meaning is constantly redefined.

So, where do I stand with these theories in my networking practice. Somewhere between all three, if truth be told.
I believe knowledge resides inside the individual. It is shaped by our experiences and interaction with the world around us.
I also believe that the average knowledge we need to function within our chosen profession is vast and ever updating. I cannot contain it all, so I defer some of that responsibility to the Internet and to my friends. Both are recpeticals of knowledge that can be accessed at a later time.
Lastly I like to believe that certain working practices are exercises in investigation, and that learning can be achieved by just asking the right questions.

That's not what I wrote.

Recently wrote the script for The London 48hr Sci Fi Film Challenge. Basically you are given a title, a line of dialogue, and a prop. You then have to produce a finished film in 48 hours.
The director was using Stage combat trained actors, so she said I had to include a chase and a fight (two things I'm loathed to put in a short film, because they take up precious storytelling time. While a chase or fight is taking place effectively the story stops. It only starts again with the outcome of said chase or fight.
Unfortunately a timed film challenge is a series of compromises. Due to time, actors were not able to learn all the lines, so some important ones were cut. Then some vital shots were not secured, and of course this was all before the editor got to work.
At the time I felt frustrated and, yes, angry. Now I have excepted that on a timed film challenge, the first casualty is the script..
So what is on screen is my story, just not necessarily told the way I would have liked. Oh well.
 http://vimeo.com/63572559

Task 3b Reflection on Networking

Network.
A network is system for support or gain, for sustainability or advancement.
Cooperation.
I found the information on Game Theory, as an aspect of networking, very interesting. Especially the "Prisoner's Dilemma " scenario.
Axelrod's theory : people will cooperate fully with others, until they reach a point of maximum benefit, and then defect.
This is at the heart of my reluctance to network.
The idea that people want your association purely for what they may gain from the connection, I find a little cold.
The added fact that the connection may be severed at a time the associate deems your value to the network, obsolete, I find even colder.
But if I think about it, is this not what I do?
There are people in my current network that are simply there because I place a value on their connections, their experience. It's not that I dislike them, I don't know them. Similarly at the beginning of a new year, I cull my social network (Facebook). It's not a stretch to think there may come a time I do the same to my profession network.
I need to get my head around the fact that this is an acceptable practice. I need to overcome my sense of guilt (born from the belief that I am partaking in an exercise in exploitation.) And, realise my aversion to the act of defection, probably stems from  my fear/frustration of being abandoned myself.
Affiliation
There are two theories for affiliation.
Social Comparison Theory.
Theory of Social Exchange.
Social Comparison Theory states "to know ourselves and better understand our place in social environment is to compare ourselves to others." (social psychology psy 403. Zee Pedia web page.)
This rings true with my learning experience at drama school. It was encouraged that we should strive to be the best we could be, not just the best in the school. However, living in a microcosm of 60 students everyday, it was inevitable our desire to out shine one another would feel like an immediate priority. We were also encouraged to critique other performances as long as it was constructive. By observing others, studying their strengths and weakness in technique, I was able to gauge where I stood as a performer.
If someone had good stagecraft, I would learn from them. It was just as important to recognise bad acting. If you can identify it, you should have the sense not to produce something similar in quality.
All this was only possible by first being affiliated with the group. That is, I had to be a member of the group to establish where I stood in my learning and ability. This would not have been achievable from a position of solitude.
Theory of social exchange.
George Hormans (1958) stated that "all social relationships are like economic bargains in which each party places a value on the goods they exchange with one another."
I certainly place a value on what I do as a performer, both artistically and financially (I have to eat).
Truth be told, I do try to distance myself from the monetary aspect. I have this wacky notion it's about the art. This means when I am involved in a project as an actor, the value I place on my work is high. I believe I can be professional in attitude, consistent- yet -flexible, and ultimately deliver what the director is looking for. OK, this last one comes with its fair share of self doubt and fear. But the principle is sound and so to is the desire to deliver. When I join a network and announce "I am an actor", I am placing a value on my craft and recognising others may do the same.
But, it is a two way street. I also place a value on the work of those I connect with. I may target certain people/projects because : I have always wanted to act this part, in this theatre, with that director, that actor etc.
I place a value on the experience I will gain from the collaboration.
Also my engagement with people in my network differs from person to person.
I am by nature a private person. Therefore I first thought my levels of interaction fell under that banner. However the more I reflect on my practice in this matter, the more I am convinced my level of engagement is based on a value scale. I think it is human nature to gravitate towards people who have similar opinions to you, and on a physiological level, have an empathy with you.
This of course, in part, is the attraction of my professional network. But also the more value I place on an interaction, the more I will engage in said interaction. Likewise if someone values the association and I see little in it at that time, I may limit my correspondence.
I stress "at that time" because the level of affiliation with an individual is always in a state of flux. I do this with all my network. It is done almost instinctively, however as my explanation shows, it is actually a carefully implemented strategy, based on physiological need, and the desire for relevant knowledge to serve my current need, and ultimately, advancement.
I recently tweeted an established actor with an acting practice question. The actor is currently busy in LA, filming. Yet he took the time to impart some knowledge.
If I tweeted him again I may not get a response. Within the dynamic of this exchange, the another person would dictate the level of interaction .
I will just end this section by saying I have made my affiliation/networking sound quite brutal and business-like. I still act for the thrill of it, and enjoy collaborating, gaining knowledge and connecting with other people in the profession, for the same reason. It's just now, after reflection, I realise there are more motives at work.

"I reject your reality, and substitute it with one of my own."   Adam Savage. Myth Busters.

Constructivism, Objectivism, Connectivism.

I love the quote above, because I think it's what acting is all about. As actors on a stage, do we not create a world, a reality, that differs to the reality outside the theater?  But, one that echos the human experience, the search for meaning in the world around us.

Constructivism

Constructivism suggests that learners  create knowledge as they attempt to understand their experience. (Driscoll 2000)

Objectivism

The notion that truth and meaning resides in the object independently of any consciousness, and that appropriate methods of inquiry can bring us accurate and certain knowledge of that truth.

Both theories are quite frankly, way over my head. Do I favour one above the other? How do I apply them to my network?
Well, first off, I'm not going to view it in terms of my broader network. Instead I will approach it from a smaller network : a theater company. If my professional network is the internet, then a company of actors is an intranet. This doesn't mean that it is a loop of knowledge - just the sum of its members. No because, as the actors all work through a text, old knowledge is challenged( through experience : rehearsal), and new knowledge is born. The company as a network evolves through it's interaction with one another. Many times I have been in rehearsal and the director has said "just play with the text." The performers would then experiment, and new meaning in the text could be realized.
However, I think this can only be achieved if the individual has some knowledge of the world and meaning , already at their disposal. And surely, that basic knowledge must be the general consensus of the company, the immediate network. Otherwise we are in an "Adam Savage" situation where my understanding of reality, isn't necessarily yours. I think this fundamental knowledge is what we build our broader understanding on. Does that new learning then become the definitive knowledge?
I do believe that I need to experience more of the world around me, if I am to become a better actor. This also means engaging more with my network. Indeed, since I started this project I have been conversing with many old contacts and establishing quite a few new ones. I have also joined a writers group (purely as an actor) as a means to platform my acting, to a new selection of writers and directors.

OK. Constructivism I can get behind. It's inherent in my practice as an actor, and has been a way of gaining knowledge and understanding, all my adult life (whether I knew it or not).
However, there s a quality in Objectivism, that I find quite seductive. I think it is because as a child you are taught that knowledge can be found within the pages of a text book. Ink on the page, makes it ,concrete, unchanging, definitive. As a child I thought all knowledge, the only knowledge, was held in the encyclopedias at home. And the only new discoveries were being made by astronauts. Of course, as I grew I realised, discovery - knowledge - meaning, was changing at a quicker rate than the Earth turned.
Wind forward : 2009. Drama school. Acting Text class. What does the teacher tell us?
"The author has served you well. Everything you need to know is in the text. You just have to find it."
Is this not Objectivism? 

 

Task 3a Network

The network is an important tool in broadening  our working experience and maintaining longevity in our career.

This is a list of connections in my network.

Agent.
I signed with my agent in 2010, after my showcase.
I had a couple of offers and went with the one that seemed most in tune with what I wanted to achieve in my career.
My agent is probably the most important person in my network, as she deals with the industry on a daily bases and can put me up for jobs, I otherwise might not get an audition for.
An agent is a conduit to a larger network, as essentially her network becomes your network albeit through her.

Spotlight.
Being a member of Spotlight is invaluable whether you have an agent or not. Anyone who is anyone is on Spotlight. Which makes it an even playing field.
By this I mean, your photo and profile in the Spotlight book, sits next to headshots of more established performers. Even with the advent of the internet, some directors still physically trawl through the Spotlight book.

Casting Call Pro. Let It Cast. Casting Network.
These are all internet sites I am a member of. Casting Call Pro is a site where I have gotten most of my work (you cannot leave it up to your agent to find you all your work, when you are not an established actor or have what's know as a "starting agent").
These sites are a potential networking tool to the world (Let It Cast, being an international site.)

Collegues/ Peers
Collegues from drama school are a great networking source. They have performed with you and know your abilities. I have secured many acting opportunities through friends who have recommended me to a director. This networking through others is just as valid as networking one on one. Its like your extended network has a life of its own.

Directors and Writers.
I always exchange email addresses with directors I work with, and keep an eye out for their future projects. Also, that director may suggest you to someone else for a part, so its always worth staying on their "radar." New writers are also a good networking source, as you never know if the next time they write a character they might have you in mind for it.

Twitter /Facebook.
Social websites are an important networking tool.
Both my accounts are set up to represent me as the professional actor first, and my social personality second. Twitter has become the new business card for me. Often I will exchange twitter email address as a way of increasing my network. Plus, a simple comment on someone's twitter page puts you back in the forefront of their mind.

Some of my colleagues have been more pro active in their approach to networking.
For example, some have posted showreels on You Tube and Facebook or attached links to twitter. A couple of fellow actors have written and performed their own comedy sketch show, which can be found on You Tube.
I think using social sites in this way can maximize your exposure.
Plus anything you produce, then becomes a representation of your work, a calling card.
Other fellow actors will attend shows, and seek out the director in the bar afterwards or simply look up new productions in development and write to the director.

My ideal network would be bigger and more varied, expanding into other art forms. I would like my network to include practitioners of other arts, so as to increase my opportunities to incorporate different mediums with performance. I would also like to make connections with teachers of drama, as it is an area in which I hope to work.
At present my network is quite small and select. I say select, because networking is a bit of a stumbling block for me, and an area where I need to improve.
I am by nature a very shy person.
When I was attending drama school, I would often keep to myself. (This all stems from personal issues which I will not go into here). I did well in class, and for me that was good enough. My work spoke for me. Of course in the real world, having an ability is not enough, you need to tell people about it.
We had classes on networking, so I knew it was something I would have to partake in, I just avoided it as long as possible.
Now days I understand the importants of networking, and take comfort in the knowledge that some of my acting friends who are very good at it, still dread it.
So, my approach to invigorating my network would be as follows:
I need to banish any preconceived ideas I had about networking, and just except it as another part of the job.
I need to attend more events /shows (luckily a friend who networks this way has invited me along next time).
I need to make the effort and contact my existing network via social sites, so as not to lose contact altogether.
Joining The Actors Centre is not only a great place to brush up on your craft, but is a great place to meet directors and fellow actors. Our drama school mentioned this in a networking class, so I should follow their advice.
I also have written an episodic project I hope to appear in on You Tube. Not only will it serve as a promotional vehicle for me, it will also mean working with some new people, new editions to the network.

Task 2d Inquiry

What in your daily practice gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about?
Who do you admire who also works with what makes you enthusiastic?

I guess the thing that I am enthusiastic about in my journey as a actor and writer is imagination and realism.
From an acting point of view I think it is important to exercise your imagination, we did it as children. Now we are playing pretend for a living, so I think its important to still "oil the engine."
I observe people, listen to the rhythm of their voice, watch their mannerisms, posture etc. As a character actor it is important for me to try other peoples "skin on" as it were. My favourite character actors use many tools to help them realise a character. Method acting and emotional recall are two practices which I use. I often visit locations (especially historical ones) that may stir some feeling in me. I read up on old events, and if I'm in a production at the time , I will keep a little black book. This is a book made up of photos or written passages that will produce an emotional response from me if I look at it. No one else can look at it, if they do ,I have to produce a new book. I have done this ever since I saw Gary Oldman use it.
http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/gary-oldman-phil-joanou/#_

I'm fascinated by these and other ways into performance. Sense memory/ muscle memory is something else I practice as advocated by the late great Uta Hagen.
http://www.gyford.com/phil/writing/2006/05/08/respect_for_act.php

Another one of my acting inspirations, Michael Keaton, began his career working in a small tv studio. When everyone else had gone home, he would set up a camera and a monitor , and act. He wanted to see what worked and what didn't work on camera. I now film monologues, and general reaction, on my phone, for the same reason.
These are things I practice, (as well as reading up and trying any new approaches)  because I am on a constant journey to find the truth in my performance and to be as good as the actors who inspire me.

What gets you angry or makes you sad?

I think its the lack of pace in my career. I only graduated 2010, and although  I've been reminded that "it's a marathon not a sprint", I still cant help feeling a little frustrated. I originally only started writing to create vehicles for my acting. However recently people have wanted my scripts, but with other actors. I have yet to get a decent acting role, and by decent I mean one where I get to play a substantial character.
I admire my friends from drama school, who are in the same situation. They too, are trying other ways to get their work out there. I also admire some of the name actors who we think always did well.
Morgan Freeman started acting in the 60's and got his big break in the 80's.
Tom Hanks was unemployed for a year in LA, because no one would hire him.

What do you love about what you do? Who do you admire who also seems to love this or is an example of what you love?

I love acting, I love the chance to pretend. I remember growing up and seeing different professions on tv, and thinking I wish I could be a .....policeman, doctor, secret agent, monster.(ok monsters not a profession, but you get the idea) And now I can be all those things and more. I also like the friendship and team work involved in putting on a show. Plus creative environments are so much more interesting to work in. They can be just as stressful as any other, but ultimately more rewarding. Lastly, I just love being able to say "I'm an actor."

"..It takes a little bit of discipline, but more than anything else it takes this degree of perseverance that ultimately is not your measure of who you are as an artist, but its a measure of what you are as a professional...and that's hard...because there is nothing greater than being able to say I'm a professional actor, and I will be till the day I die."

Tom Hanks, when asked how to persevere with acting.
Inside the Actors Studio aired 1999

What do you feel you don't understand? Who do you admire who does understand it or who has found a way of not understanding it interesting?

How to overcome my fear of failure when faced with a new acting project. At this stage I have reasoned and reflected on it. However the irrational feeling of inadequacy still looms. I have read about other actors I admire feeling the same. This fear of not being good enough, the fear of coming across as fake, the fear of being "found out." I feel I could possibly do better work if I could get rid of it. I believe it would help me to loosen up and take chances.
Actors from Meryl Streep to Jack Nicholson have all admitted to nerves and sense of failure before projects, but I guess they control it or compartmentalise it. Nicholson has said in interviews, he is nervous right up until the director calls "action." Unfortunately as forthcoming as actors are with this info they never explain how they deal with it. I guess it's like any emotional thing, we deal with it in our own private way.

I suppose my question would be titled : The many faces of  fear in acting.

Critical Thinking Task 2c

This for me is the most daunting assignment, so far.
I am aware that I have used reflection in my personal life and my acting, but always taken it for granted. I have never, until now, analysed the process and form, let alone assign and credit particular practitioners to the way my reflective process manifests.
I use reflective thinking everyday in my profession. It goes hand in hand with my reflective thinking as an individual. Often when taking on a character, you are monitoring your own attitudes, thoughts, fears, feelings, and suppressing them, so as not to let them taint the character you are playing. Only by reflecting on my fears, joy, objectives as an individual, can I identify them, ensuring they do not creep into the performance. Like wise, identifying similarities between you and the character, can make the portrayal more convincing.
Knowledge of yourself informs the performance.
Similar to "I must know what the words ‘unmarried’, ‘married’ mean, if I am to understand what is being said when you claim that a bachelor is an unmarried man.  " Mcfee "Defining what is a bachelor (McFee, 1992: 18).
I must understand my own place in the world before I can truly appreciate where my character fits in.
Dewey believed that the common experience was enough and that man desired to learn from it, so as to better himself in the world. I think what links all creative people is that desire to better themselves and better understand themselves. To evolve their art and to find their create voice.
"Critical thinking is essentially an "active" process- one in which you think things through for yourself, raise questions yourself, find relevant information yourself etc" (clarifying Dewey's Reflective Thinking, in Critical Thinking An Introduction. Alec Fisher. Cambridge Press 2001)
These are tools an actor must have. When a director says he wants an actor that "brings something to the table" it is this ability to think, question and implement, to which he refers.

Here are a few examples of reflection in my profession :

On Stage.
During technical rehearsals, Director and Lighting, will discuss and experiment with different lighting cues and colour palettes.
Actors (during rehearsals) use reflection to build character, develop back-story, find ways of lifting the text off of the page. Then, as the performer : ways to tighten a performance from night to night. This is one example of Kolb's Learning Cycle in practice, another is the directors notes.
Before the next nights performance, the director will give "notes." This is a detailed plan to improve the next performance, based on the directors personal reflection and his assumptions of what the audience saw/experienced (Another View).

When it came to Kolb's Learning Cycle, and where I join it, I had to really think about this one.
I'm not sure I join the cycle in the same place for every learning experience. I think for the majority I join the cycle at Abstract Conceptualisation, going over it in my head until I have a "eureka" moment. I sometimes learn from watching others, however these observations are more of a filtering process of "what not to do."

Reflection in Film.
It can be argued that the film industry is run by men in suits not creatives. However, even here there is a great deal of reflection. If a film is successful, talk of a sequel soon surfaces. So begins the lengthy process of reflection: What made the first film a success? How can it be improved? what did the audience like/ identify with? etc. It may be spearheaded by the desire for wealth, but nevertheless, there is reflection going on.

Schon: Reflection in Action. Reflection on Action.
"For Schon, reflection-in-action was the core of "professional artistry." (Linda Finlay Reflecting on"Reflective practice" Open University)
If I'm performing and am lucky enough to be in the holy grail of acting states, "being in the moment", then I am in flux between reality and performance. I say this because, even if you are in the moment, you are still conscious of your general surroundings, of the mechanics of performance. Whilst on stage I am aware of the technical aspects of performance (blocking etc) and my duty to the audience, to tell a story (clarity, projection). I navigate through the performance, sensing pace and being mindful that anything can happen. I am engaged in reflection in action but purely as a means to steer a successful course through the scene. Any larger issues that need reflection are dealt with between scenes or after the show. As potent as reflection-in- action is I think you have to be selective. The more thoughts you have that aren't your characters, the more you distance yourself from the character.

I'm having a hard time with Polanyi's views on Tacit Knowledge. If I understand it right it is "gut instinct". If so the example I would give in acting would be "sense of truth." You can teach someone stagecraft or acting to camera techniques, but you cannot teach someone to act. You cannot give them their sense of truth.
Where I'm confused, is if somewhere down the line you are able to verbalise a piece of Tacit Knowledge, does that make it no longer Tacit Knowledge? Is it Tacit Knowledge if it is felt by one person and cannot be replicated in another?

Moon's views on reflection, resonate with me more. She lists the qualities of task that encourage reflection. Among them are : "Ill- structured, "messy" or real life situations." and "Tasks that demand the ordering of thoughts."
I think we are always trying to create calm from chaos  make sense of events and feelings, in our personal and professional lives. As an actor, I am here to tell the story, plain and simple. I must first make sense of what I am about to convey, before I can successfully communicate it. This of course I do through cycling experience and reflection and experimentation (the rehearsal process) And this will be personal to me, as it draws influence from my past experience, emotional state, belief system and imagination.

As, I read another paper, draw another diagram, adhere to the Learning Cycle, its all to easy to view the process as academic. I need to distance myself from that when engaged in reflection. Bring it back to the organic process.
I take heed of Boud & Walkers (1998) warning: "It is common for reflection to be treated as an intellectual exercise- a simple matter of thinking rigorously. However reflection is not solely a cognitive process: emotions are central to all learning."

Some criticism I have read, centred on the teaching profession. Raising the question, if  the educator has the expertise  to pass the skills onto others, and if the students are  emotionally  mature enough to develop them.
Practices mentioned above have also had critics: Moon (1999) regards Schon's reflection-in-action, as unobtainable. I feel this is wrong. Unless Moon is referring to something slightly different, the fine adjustments I make in real time within a scene, I attribute to Schon's theory.
A major criticism of Kolb's Learning Cycle, is that any or all of the four phases he identifies could occur simultaneously. (Jeffs and Smith 1999) others suggest phases can be bypassed altogether. This may be true, but for me, I'm happy to have a clear visual aid of the process. However, when I'm engaged in the process, the last thing I'm thinking of is the diagram.

Moon (1999) defines reflective practice as "a set of abilities and skills, to indicate the taking of a critical stance, an orientation to problem solving or state of mind."
As I further explore reflective thinking, I will adopt/ continue to use, some of the approaches mentioned above. Kolb,s Learning Cycle (and Honey & Mumfords revision, for that matter) is an affective way of structuring the experience-evaluation-evolution practice. And Schon's "in action" and "on action" are vital when working in a creative environment. Lastly, just the fact that by reading these different views on reflection, I'm now thinking about thinking, is surely a step in the right direction?

So, to sum up, I have always used reflection in my acting. The difference now is that it has an sense of structure/order. I have more tools at my disposal, more approaches  into my critical thinking. Plus, a journal, an invaluable reference and record of my growth as a practitioner of reflective thinking. I hope my development in this area will enhance the quality of my work, and better prepare me for a time when I want to communicate the craft to others.

Task 2b Journal writing experience

I am now writing my journal, and have tried out the suggestions in WBS3730 guide, with varying degrees of success.
Description:  As I enjoy writing, stories, the idea of establishing : what, where and when, was a matter of instinct when writing my journal. Plus, it gave each documented experience, context. Very important if I wish to refer back to the experience at a later date.
Initial Reflection: The questions raised in this suggestion, not only formed the building block for each journal entry, but seemed to cycle around, in situations where a experience contained twists and turns, new events, mini experiences informing the larger experiences.
Lists: I thought the idea of the list was a non starter for me, as I like sentence structure, a logical descriptive passage. However, I applied it to a piece of "reflective writing in anticipation of an event" and found the results very interesting. Looking back on the list, I was surprised at how logical it was. It had a path, it evolved as I was writing. What did become apparent was the fear of failing and the thoughts of success, appeared more than once in the list. Reasoning with my demons and allowing myself to indulge in the notion of triumph, seemed to be an on -going battle. It is in my head, so why shouldn't it be so on paper?
Evaluation: I found myself evaluating as I went along, documenting the experience. I will  try this as a form of closing statement, a general summing. A weakness I have with evaluation, is if something has gone well, I give it a mental tick and store it away. I seem to only reflect on things that need to be improved upon.
Graphs, Charts and Diagrams: This was the hardest form for me to adopt. Graphs and Charts, leave me cold. For me, the reflective process is organic, writing is organic. Graphs and Charts are clinical. Besides, if I want to reference the material later, a well structured sentence can transport me right back into the event the mood, the feelings. No graph is going to evoke that in me.
Diagrams, however I can use (in conjunction with a text.) I found the only way for me to do a diagram was to transfer the information, first generated in list form and identify similarities, family groupings. These I then boxed as off-shots of a central axis: The experience.
What If: As an user of Stanislavsky's "Magic If", I found the "what if" approach invaluable.
Here you can play out the scenario as many times as you like, evaluating and refining or pushing the parameters and observing.  For me, this is the most powerful tool in the reflective/ learning process.
Another view: Is another useful tool. Viewing the situation through someone else's eyes helps me to appreciated their point of view and also understand how my opinions and actions may be perceived by others.
I did not use this as the sole point of view in a journal entry, but as part of an account. This is also another way I play out scenarios in the "What if" approach.
Another view is a useful aid, as long as you are able to make an intelligent, rational, realistic characterization of the person in question. This is why I keep away from points of view of bags and tables.
The journal writing has proved an eye opener and an asset.
I will continue with the things that I feel are the body of a journal :  Description, initial reflection, and now include What If and Another View to fully explore each experience/ event.

Reflective Practice Task 2a

I have started to make entries into my journal and thought I'd share one with you.
I have recently moved into a new house-share, and it is proving to be the house-share from hell.
Since I moved, I have not been able to write anything.
I attended a script brainstorming session on Sunday, and the ideas were not forth coming.
I reflected on this and felt my lack of creativity was directly linked to my current uneasy feeling.
My external life was affecting my internal life.
Was there a way I could compartmentalise my mind?
I have often read of artists creating some of their best work, while struggling with far greater adversity than mine.
Do they throw themselves into their work?
Perhaps I needed to embrace my feelings of dread, depression and anger?
As a motivational springboard, I found these feelings fruitless.
Then I reflected on my current situation again.
Sure, I am unhappy about it, but I am hopeful for the future.
Thats when it hit me. Instead of looking for inspiration in the dark, I should turn my attention to the light at the end of the tunnel.
It's just a thought.....born from some reflection.

Everyday I Write the Book

OK, I'm a bit behind in my undertaking of the second part of first module, but I'm off and running.
I am without the Reader, so I've surfed the net, and already begun to piece together an understanding of Reflective Practice.
Tomorrow I start my journal. I may back-date it a few days. I was involved in a couple of events, that made me question my motives, ethical practice, and  the affect on others.
I am generally a reflective person (sometimes to my detriment) but I think all actors are. To understand a character we must first understand ourselves.
There are many reasons for writing a journal. The two that initially resonate with me are from David Boud and Jenny Moon.
Boud states one reason as "a form of therapy."
Boud, D. (2001). Using journal writing to enhance reflective practice.
And
"To enhance creativity by making better use of intuitive understanding."

Using journals in learning through reflection, Jenny Moon
(1999a)

Well, this may all change when I put pen to paper. I'm curious to see what happens.

Script Doctor : Not struck off, just ticked off.

I mentioned that I had self- appointed myself (I stress the self-appointed) Script Doctor on an impending short film. I waited to see if any of my ideas had made it into the final script.
So it was with a sense of curiosity and a little excitement, I opened the script attachment sent to my phone on Saturday morning.
All my ideas were included, bar one. But scenes I had written to replace existing scenes, now sat next to the previous material, jostling for attention, and in affect making the scenes twice as long.
Plus, jokes I had written, were included, but with bits tagged on to the punchline.
I threw my arms in the air, fell to my knees and cried "Nooooooooo."
OK. I was in the food court of a shopping centre, so I didn't do that-but you get the point.
Why did I care so much? It was not my project to start off with.
But, they were my words, damn it.
I had joined the project. Entered the creative slipstream. My words, my actions weaved through the fabric of the story.
I went through frustration, disappointment and finally acceptance. Acceptance, because for all my righteous indignation, I came back to the same fact : It was not my project to start off with.

When it rains it pours.

So, last Thurs and Fri, I shot a commercial near the O2.
It's open ground and very windy up that way. Added to this, it was an evening shoot, and they were using a rain machine.
Needless to say, after the first rehearsal, my colleagues and I were drenched.
Six takes later and we were starting to develop gills.
The crew set up for the next shot,
It was bitterly cold and some of the actors were beginning to get , well.....bitter.
Luckily I found a friend in an actor called Richard, and although we were not too thrilled to be out there, we cracked jokes,( none printable here) and kept our spirits up.
Some actors, called their agents , and others said they would not return on the second day of shooting.
To my surprise, even, Richard said he would not return.
The contract stated if you were on screen in final edit, you would get the big payout, instead of just a shooting fee.
One actor, I shall call Bob, was adamant to get in front of the camera. Purely, he informed me , for the money.
I must admit I was taken back a bit. You can never guarantee, being seen in the final commercial, unless you have a main part (we did not) because you are at the mercy of the editor. And if you're only in this for the money, you are definitely in the wrong business.
I also believe that if you enter into a contract, knowingly, then it is your duty to fulfil that contract. With that in mind, I returned the next day, and got on the hospitality bus. What did I see?
All the actors who had moaned the night before, including my friend, Richard.
"I thought you weren't coming back ?" I said.
With a wry smile he replied "Well, you have to be professional, don't you?"
Bob was the only one not to return.

Web 2.0

So I finally set up my blog, my twitter account and my flickr account. Was it an easy experience?
On the whole Id have to say, yes. The initial set up was plain sailing. Where I feel I struggled was personalising the blog, ie backgrounds, links. I already have a Facebook account, but it is a bare-bones presentation.
The reader mentioned  "produsage", the process where by someone is both user and producer.
I feel if you use a Web 2.0 platform for professional purposes, production is everything.
No longer is it good enough to be an actor, now you must be a web designer as well.
True, the makers of these platforms make it fairly easy for you to produce a half decent layout, however unlike a social networking site, I feel your presentation greatly reflects on you as a professional.
I recently changed my Facebook page. Originally it was for social interaction, now it is for professional usage. This means if any comment are placed on the page that do not present me in a positive professional light, I delete them. I have consciously become presenter, editor and indeed censor of the information that flows through that page. You could argue that this type of practice leads to sanitisation, but I do leave some of my friends comments on there to give a sense of personality. My point is, I'm still aware of being "select" in my approach.. I am creating an image, a representation of how I wished to be viewed in the professional arena.
Am I happy about this?
Not at all. I'm an actor, not a politician. Modern times demand I embrace web platforms or be left behind. I have molded a representation of myself, and in turn, by outside influences ie social etiquette  and   professional expectation, been molded.
Twitter, is a similar case, but I prefer this platform to any other currently available.
Once again, I use it as a networking tool. In fact, yesterday, I was in the company of an actor and a director , and whilst swapping twitter account addresses, the director remarked how years ago we would have handed out business cards, and now it's twitter details.
When I set up the account I simply wrote in the profile: Actor. Writer.
Within a week I had connected with casting web sites, fellow actors and directors. With that two word profile, my account had organically shaped itself into an arts community.  Such is the power of Web 2.0
Lastly. the blog. The blog as a platform is my biggest fear and is the one area of communication I will abandon after the course. Why? Because as a actor/writer I understand storytelling. I understand how to put it down on paper and how to get it across to an audience. But a blog requires me to be factually insightful and cerebral. Two things I feel I'm not fully qualified to do. Therefore at the risk of damaging my professional image, I will discard it.......can't have anything jeopardize by political career now, can I?

Another perspective.

Morag's first project behind the camera.entanglement.co.uk/projects/interview-joe-wip

Linked with kind permission of Morag Hickman.

Joe's BAPP video......well they said "your interpretation"....

Is there a (script) Doctor in the house?

A group of film makers I usually work with are about to make a short, based on a script they wrote. I was sent the script.
I read it, and to be honest I was not taken with it.
I could have left it there, however I thought I'd set myself a challenge.
As there was no role for me in the story, I took on the one of Script Doctor.
Now, I had written fully fledge scripts before, but this was a new creative discipline for me; to take somebody else's material and attempt to improve it, whilst retaining the tone, and through- line of the piece.
First, I took the overall pacing of the script and then broke it down into scenes, identifying clunky or superfluous dialogue. This often disrupts the flow/rhythm of the scene.
I re-wrote the beginning and gave the end a more satisfying conclusion.
I also gave examples of where the humour of the piece could be tighten.
Will any of it make the final cut? Only time will tell.

The Early Days

A selection of photos from my early days at Putney Arts Theatre. Joe MB@flicr.com

This is where I got my first taste of performing for a paying audience.

The theatre holds 150 people, and the stage is a good size.
I learnt to communicate a story and engage an audience on this stage.
Good memories. 

Commercial Casting

Yesterday I went for a commercial casting, in the west end of London. As I made my way down Oxford Street, having just completed my audition, I got to thinking about the audition process. Commercial auditions in particular. All auditions have a couple of fundamental requirements: 1. You must be able to act. 2. You must be able to convey the material given.
But the Commercial Casting is a tricky beast. You can confidently stride in, armed with the fundamentals, but if you don't fit the look they want, the most amazing performance, still will not get you the gig.
But that goes for any casting, I hear you say.
I personally do not think that is the case. I have auditioned for fringe productions, where I felt there was room to mould the performance, a chance to surprise the director.
But Commercial Castings rarely go on longer than 10 mins. Plus you have to remember you are not playing a role, you are selling a product. It's not a play, it's a presentation, and the look is everything.
However, as actors we must approach this with the same determination and inventiveness, as any other audition.
I went in to the audition room with three other men. This is a usual casting practice when they are looking for a group of performers ( we were to be a group of photographers) It's a "job lot" casting.
When this happens it's tempting to approach the performance with a sense of rivalry.
I defused this in my mind by reminding myself that in these kind of castings, the casting director has pretty much made up his or her mind as soon as they've seen you walk in.
So I psyched myself into the belief that I fitted the remit and ignored the performers around me (we were not here to interact).
Then the camera swept across the four of us and we were instructed to perform individually.
Individual camera time was 10 sec.
Then, with a smile (no matter how you felt it went, always leave with a smile) I hit the pavement.
Theorising, but at this stage, none the wiser.
I got "Pencil".
Still none the wiser.