That's not what I wrote.

Recently wrote the script for The London 48hr Sci Fi Film Challenge. Basically you are given a title, a line of dialogue, and a prop. You then have to produce a finished film in 48 hours.
The director was using Stage combat trained actors, so she said I had to include a chase and a fight (two things I'm loathed to put in a short film, because they take up precious storytelling time. While a chase or fight is taking place effectively the story stops. It only starts again with the outcome of said chase or fight.
Unfortunately a timed film challenge is a series of compromises. Due to time, actors were not able to learn all the lines, so some important ones were cut. Then some vital shots were not secured, and of course this was all before the editor got to work.
At the time I felt frustrated and, yes, angry. Now I have excepted that on a timed film challenge, the first casualty is the script..
So what is on screen is my story, just not necessarily told the way I would have liked. Oh well.
 http://vimeo.com/63572559

Task 3b Reflection on Networking

Network.
A network is system for support or gain, for sustainability or advancement.
Cooperation.
I found the information on Game Theory, as an aspect of networking, very interesting. Especially the "Prisoner's Dilemma " scenario.
Axelrod's theory : people will cooperate fully with others, until they reach a point of maximum benefit, and then defect.
This is at the heart of my reluctance to network.
The idea that people want your association purely for what they may gain from the connection, I find a little cold.
The added fact that the connection may be severed at a time the associate deems your value to the network, obsolete, I find even colder.
But if I think about it, is this not what I do?
There are people in my current network that are simply there because I place a value on their connections, their experience. It's not that I dislike them, I don't know them. Similarly at the beginning of a new year, I cull my social network (Facebook). It's not a stretch to think there may come a time I do the same to my profession network.
I need to get my head around the fact that this is an acceptable practice. I need to overcome my sense of guilt (born from the belief that I am partaking in an exercise in exploitation.) And, realise my aversion to the act of defection, probably stems from  my fear/frustration of being abandoned myself.
Affiliation
There are two theories for affiliation.
Social Comparison Theory.
Theory of Social Exchange.
Social Comparison Theory states "to know ourselves and better understand our place in social environment is to compare ourselves to others." (social psychology psy 403. Zee Pedia web page.)
This rings true with my learning experience at drama school. It was encouraged that we should strive to be the best we could be, not just the best in the school. However, living in a microcosm of 60 students everyday, it was inevitable our desire to out shine one another would feel like an immediate priority. We were also encouraged to critique other performances as long as it was constructive. By observing others, studying their strengths and weakness in technique, I was able to gauge where I stood as a performer.
If someone had good stagecraft, I would learn from them. It was just as important to recognise bad acting. If you can identify it, you should have the sense not to produce something similar in quality.
All this was only possible by first being affiliated with the group. That is, I had to be a member of the group to establish where I stood in my learning and ability. This would not have been achievable from a position of solitude.
Theory of social exchange.
George Hormans (1958) stated that "all social relationships are like economic bargains in which each party places a value on the goods they exchange with one another."
I certainly place a value on what I do as a performer, both artistically and financially (I have to eat).
Truth be told, I do try to distance myself from the monetary aspect. I have this wacky notion it's about the art. This means when I am involved in a project as an actor, the value I place on my work is high. I believe I can be professional in attitude, consistent- yet -flexible, and ultimately deliver what the director is looking for. OK, this last one comes with its fair share of self doubt and fear. But the principle is sound and so to is the desire to deliver. When I join a network and announce "I am an actor", I am placing a value on my craft and recognising others may do the same.
But, it is a two way street. I also place a value on the work of those I connect with. I may target certain people/projects because : I have always wanted to act this part, in this theatre, with that director, that actor etc.
I place a value on the experience I will gain from the collaboration.
Also my engagement with people in my network differs from person to person.
I am by nature a private person. Therefore I first thought my levels of interaction fell under that banner. However the more I reflect on my practice in this matter, the more I am convinced my level of engagement is based on a value scale. I think it is human nature to gravitate towards people who have similar opinions to you, and on a physiological level, have an empathy with you.
This of course, in part, is the attraction of my professional network. But also the more value I place on an interaction, the more I will engage in said interaction. Likewise if someone values the association and I see little in it at that time, I may limit my correspondence.
I stress "at that time" because the level of affiliation with an individual is always in a state of flux. I do this with all my network. It is done almost instinctively, however as my explanation shows, it is actually a carefully implemented strategy, based on physiological need, and the desire for relevant knowledge to serve my current need, and ultimately, advancement.
I recently tweeted an established actor with an acting practice question. The actor is currently busy in LA, filming. Yet he took the time to impart some knowledge.
If I tweeted him again I may not get a response. Within the dynamic of this exchange, the another person would dictate the level of interaction .
I will just end this section by saying I have made my affiliation/networking sound quite brutal and business-like. I still act for the thrill of it, and enjoy collaborating, gaining knowledge and connecting with other people in the profession, for the same reason. It's just now, after reflection, I realise there are more motives at work.

"I reject your reality, and substitute it with one of my own."   Adam Savage. Myth Busters.

Constructivism, Objectivism, Connectivism.

I love the quote above, because I think it's what acting is all about. As actors on a stage, do we not create a world, a reality, that differs to the reality outside the theater?  But, one that echos the human experience, the search for meaning in the world around us.

Constructivism

Constructivism suggests that learners  create knowledge as they attempt to understand their experience. (Driscoll 2000)

Objectivism

The notion that truth and meaning resides in the object independently of any consciousness, and that appropriate methods of inquiry can bring us accurate and certain knowledge of that truth.

Both theories are quite frankly, way over my head. Do I favour one above the other? How do I apply them to my network?
Well, first off, I'm not going to view it in terms of my broader network. Instead I will approach it from a smaller network : a theater company. If my professional network is the internet, then a company of actors is an intranet. This doesn't mean that it is a loop of knowledge - just the sum of its members. No because, as the actors all work through a text, old knowledge is challenged( through experience : rehearsal), and new knowledge is born. The company as a network evolves through it's interaction with one another. Many times I have been in rehearsal and the director has said "just play with the text." The performers would then experiment, and new meaning in the text could be realized.
However, I think this can only be achieved if the individual has some knowledge of the world and meaning , already at their disposal. And surely, that basic knowledge must be the general consensus of the company, the immediate network. Otherwise we are in an "Adam Savage" situation where my understanding of reality, isn't necessarily yours. I think this fundamental knowledge is what we build our broader understanding on. Does that new learning then become the definitive knowledge?
I do believe that I need to experience more of the world around me, if I am to become a better actor. This also means engaging more with my network. Indeed, since I started this project I have been conversing with many old contacts and establishing quite a few new ones. I have also joined a writers group (purely as an actor) as a means to platform my acting, to a new selection of writers and directors.

OK. Constructivism I can get behind. It's inherent in my practice as an actor, and has been a way of gaining knowledge and understanding, all my adult life (whether I knew it or not).
However, there s a quality in Objectivism, that I find quite seductive. I think it is because as a child you are taught that knowledge can be found within the pages of a text book. Ink on the page, makes it ,concrete, unchanging, definitive. As a child I thought all knowledge, the only knowledge, was held in the encyclopedias at home. And the only new discoveries were being made by astronauts. Of course, as I grew I realised, discovery - knowledge - meaning, was changing at a quicker rate than the Earth turned.
Wind forward : 2009. Drama school. Acting Text class. What does the teacher tell us?
"The author has served you well. Everything you need to know is in the text. You just have to find it."
Is this not Objectivism? 

 

Task 3a Network

The network is an important tool in broadening  our working experience and maintaining longevity in our career.

This is a list of connections in my network.

Agent.
I signed with my agent in 2010, after my showcase.
I had a couple of offers and went with the one that seemed most in tune with what I wanted to achieve in my career.
My agent is probably the most important person in my network, as she deals with the industry on a daily bases and can put me up for jobs, I otherwise might not get an audition for.
An agent is a conduit to a larger network, as essentially her network becomes your network albeit through her.

Spotlight.
Being a member of Spotlight is invaluable whether you have an agent or not. Anyone who is anyone is on Spotlight. Which makes it an even playing field.
By this I mean, your photo and profile in the Spotlight book, sits next to headshots of more established performers. Even with the advent of the internet, some directors still physically trawl through the Spotlight book.

Casting Call Pro. Let It Cast. Casting Network.
These are all internet sites I am a member of. Casting Call Pro is a site where I have gotten most of my work (you cannot leave it up to your agent to find you all your work, when you are not an established actor or have what's know as a "starting agent").
These sites are a potential networking tool to the world (Let It Cast, being an international site.)

Collegues/ Peers
Collegues from drama school are a great networking source. They have performed with you and know your abilities. I have secured many acting opportunities through friends who have recommended me to a director. This networking through others is just as valid as networking one on one. Its like your extended network has a life of its own.

Directors and Writers.
I always exchange email addresses with directors I work with, and keep an eye out for their future projects. Also, that director may suggest you to someone else for a part, so its always worth staying on their "radar." New writers are also a good networking source, as you never know if the next time they write a character they might have you in mind for it.

Twitter /Facebook.
Social websites are an important networking tool.
Both my accounts are set up to represent me as the professional actor first, and my social personality second. Twitter has become the new business card for me. Often I will exchange twitter email address as a way of increasing my network. Plus, a simple comment on someone's twitter page puts you back in the forefront of their mind.

Some of my colleagues have been more pro active in their approach to networking.
For example, some have posted showreels on You Tube and Facebook or attached links to twitter. A couple of fellow actors have written and performed their own comedy sketch show, which can be found on You Tube.
I think using social sites in this way can maximize your exposure.
Plus anything you produce, then becomes a representation of your work, a calling card.
Other fellow actors will attend shows, and seek out the director in the bar afterwards or simply look up new productions in development and write to the director.

My ideal network would be bigger and more varied, expanding into other art forms. I would like my network to include practitioners of other arts, so as to increase my opportunities to incorporate different mediums with performance. I would also like to make connections with teachers of drama, as it is an area in which I hope to work.
At present my network is quite small and select. I say select, because networking is a bit of a stumbling block for me, and an area where I need to improve.
I am by nature a very shy person.
When I was attending drama school, I would often keep to myself. (This all stems from personal issues which I will not go into here). I did well in class, and for me that was good enough. My work spoke for me. Of course in the real world, having an ability is not enough, you need to tell people about it.
We had classes on networking, so I knew it was something I would have to partake in, I just avoided it as long as possible.
Now days I understand the importants of networking, and take comfort in the knowledge that some of my acting friends who are very good at it, still dread it.
So, my approach to invigorating my network would be as follows:
I need to banish any preconceived ideas I had about networking, and just except it as another part of the job.
I need to attend more events /shows (luckily a friend who networks this way has invited me along next time).
I need to make the effort and contact my existing network via social sites, so as not to lose contact altogether.
Joining The Actors Centre is not only a great place to brush up on your craft, but is a great place to meet directors and fellow actors. Our drama school mentioned this in a networking class, so I should follow their advice.
I also have written an episodic project I hope to appear in on You Tube. Not only will it serve as a promotional vehicle for me, it will also mean working with some new people, new editions to the network.

Task 2d Inquiry

What in your daily practice gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about?
Who do you admire who also works with what makes you enthusiastic?

I guess the thing that I am enthusiastic about in my journey as a actor and writer is imagination and realism.
From an acting point of view I think it is important to exercise your imagination, we did it as children. Now we are playing pretend for a living, so I think its important to still "oil the engine."
I observe people, listen to the rhythm of their voice, watch their mannerisms, posture etc. As a character actor it is important for me to try other peoples "skin on" as it were. My favourite character actors use many tools to help them realise a character. Method acting and emotional recall are two practices which I use. I often visit locations (especially historical ones) that may stir some feeling in me. I read up on old events, and if I'm in a production at the time , I will keep a little black book. This is a book made up of photos or written passages that will produce an emotional response from me if I look at it. No one else can look at it, if they do ,I have to produce a new book. I have done this ever since I saw Gary Oldman use it.
http://www.interviewmagazine.com/film/gary-oldman-phil-joanou/#_

I'm fascinated by these and other ways into performance. Sense memory/ muscle memory is something else I practice as advocated by the late great Uta Hagen.
http://www.gyford.com/phil/writing/2006/05/08/respect_for_act.php

Another one of my acting inspirations, Michael Keaton, began his career working in a small tv studio. When everyone else had gone home, he would set up a camera and a monitor , and act. He wanted to see what worked and what didn't work on camera. I now film monologues, and general reaction, on my phone, for the same reason.
These are things I practice, (as well as reading up and trying any new approaches)  because I am on a constant journey to find the truth in my performance and to be as good as the actors who inspire me.

What gets you angry or makes you sad?

I think its the lack of pace in my career. I only graduated 2010, and although  I've been reminded that "it's a marathon not a sprint", I still cant help feeling a little frustrated. I originally only started writing to create vehicles for my acting. However recently people have wanted my scripts, but with other actors. I have yet to get a decent acting role, and by decent I mean one where I get to play a substantial character.
I admire my friends from drama school, who are in the same situation. They too, are trying other ways to get their work out there. I also admire some of the name actors who we think always did well.
Morgan Freeman started acting in the 60's and got his big break in the 80's.
Tom Hanks was unemployed for a year in LA, because no one would hire him.

What do you love about what you do? Who do you admire who also seems to love this or is an example of what you love?

I love acting, I love the chance to pretend. I remember growing up and seeing different professions on tv, and thinking I wish I could be a .....policeman, doctor, secret agent, monster.(ok monsters not a profession, but you get the idea) And now I can be all those things and more. I also like the friendship and team work involved in putting on a show. Plus creative environments are so much more interesting to work in. They can be just as stressful as any other, but ultimately more rewarding. Lastly, I just love being able to say "I'm an actor."

"..It takes a little bit of discipline, but more than anything else it takes this degree of perseverance that ultimately is not your measure of who you are as an artist, but its a measure of what you are as a professional...and that's hard...because there is nothing greater than being able to say I'm a professional actor, and I will be till the day I die."

Tom Hanks, when asked how to persevere with acting.
Inside the Actors Studio aired 1999

What do you feel you don't understand? Who do you admire who does understand it or who has found a way of not understanding it interesting?

How to overcome my fear of failure when faced with a new acting project. At this stage I have reasoned and reflected on it. However the irrational feeling of inadequacy still looms. I have read about other actors I admire feeling the same. This fear of not being good enough, the fear of coming across as fake, the fear of being "found out." I feel I could possibly do better work if I could get rid of it. I believe it would help me to loosen up and take chances.
Actors from Meryl Streep to Jack Nicholson have all admitted to nerves and sense of failure before projects, but I guess they control it or compartmentalise it. Nicholson has said in interviews, he is nervous right up until the director calls "action." Unfortunately as forthcoming as actors are with this info they never explain how they deal with it. I guess it's like any emotional thing, we deal with it in our own private way.

I suppose my question would be titled : The many faces of  fear in acting.

Critical Thinking Task 2c

This for me is the most daunting assignment, so far.
I am aware that I have used reflection in my personal life and my acting, but always taken it for granted. I have never, until now, analysed the process and form, let alone assign and credit particular practitioners to the way my reflective process manifests.
I use reflective thinking everyday in my profession. It goes hand in hand with my reflective thinking as an individual. Often when taking on a character, you are monitoring your own attitudes, thoughts, fears, feelings, and suppressing them, so as not to let them taint the character you are playing. Only by reflecting on my fears, joy, objectives as an individual, can I identify them, ensuring they do not creep into the performance. Like wise, identifying similarities between you and the character, can make the portrayal more convincing.
Knowledge of yourself informs the performance.
Similar to "I must know what the words ‘unmarried’, ‘married’ mean, if I am to understand what is being said when you claim that a bachelor is an unmarried man.  " Mcfee "Defining what is a bachelor (McFee, 1992: 18).
I must understand my own place in the world before I can truly appreciate where my character fits in.
Dewey believed that the common experience was enough and that man desired to learn from it, so as to better himself in the world. I think what links all creative people is that desire to better themselves and better understand themselves. To evolve their art and to find their create voice.
"Critical thinking is essentially an "active" process- one in which you think things through for yourself, raise questions yourself, find relevant information yourself etc" (clarifying Dewey's Reflective Thinking, in Critical Thinking An Introduction. Alec Fisher. Cambridge Press 2001)
These are tools an actor must have. When a director says he wants an actor that "brings something to the table" it is this ability to think, question and implement, to which he refers.

Here are a few examples of reflection in my profession :

On Stage.
During technical rehearsals, Director and Lighting, will discuss and experiment with different lighting cues and colour palettes.
Actors (during rehearsals) use reflection to build character, develop back-story, find ways of lifting the text off of the page. Then, as the performer : ways to tighten a performance from night to night. This is one example of Kolb's Learning Cycle in practice, another is the directors notes.
Before the next nights performance, the director will give "notes." This is a detailed plan to improve the next performance, based on the directors personal reflection and his assumptions of what the audience saw/experienced (Another View).

When it came to Kolb's Learning Cycle, and where I join it, I had to really think about this one.
I'm not sure I join the cycle in the same place for every learning experience. I think for the majority I join the cycle at Abstract Conceptualisation, going over it in my head until I have a "eureka" moment. I sometimes learn from watching others, however these observations are more of a filtering process of "what not to do."

Reflection in Film.
It can be argued that the film industry is run by men in suits not creatives. However, even here there is a great deal of reflection. If a film is successful, talk of a sequel soon surfaces. So begins the lengthy process of reflection: What made the first film a success? How can it be improved? what did the audience like/ identify with? etc. It may be spearheaded by the desire for wealth, but nevertheless, there is reflection going on.

Schon: Reflection in Action. Reflection on Action.
"For Schon, reflection-in-action was the core of "professional artistry." (Linda Finlay Reflecting on"Reflective practice" Open University)
If I'm performing and am lucky enough to be in the holy grail of acting states, "being in the moment", then I am in flux between reality and performance. I say this because, even if you are in the moment, you are still conscious of your general surroundings, of the mechanics of performance. Whilst on stage I am aware of the technical aspects of performance (blocking etc) and my duty to the audience, to tell a story (clarity, projection). I navigate through the performance, sensing pace and being mindful that anything can happen. I am engaged in reflection in action but purely as a means to steer a successful course through the scene. Any larger issues that need reflection are dealt with between scenes or after the show. As potent as reflection-in- action is I think you have to be selective. The more thoughts you have that aren't your characters, the more you distance yourself from the character.

I'm having a hard time with Polanyi's views on Tacit Knowledge. If I understand it right it is "gut instinct". If so the example I would give in acting would be "sense of truth." You can teach someone stagecraft or acting to camera techniques, but you cannot teach someone to act. You cannot give them their sense of truth.
Where I'm confused, is if somewhere down the line you are able to verbalise a piece of Tacit Knowledge, does that make it no longer Tacit Knowledge? Is it Tacit Knowledge if it is felt by one person and cannot be replicated in another?

Moon's views on reflection, resonate with me more. She lists the qualities of task that encourage reflection. Among them are : "Ill- structured, "messy" or real life situations." and "Tasks that demand the ordering of thoughts."
I think we are always trying to create calm from chaos  make sense of events and feelings, in our personal and professional lives. As an actor, I am here to tell the story, plain and simple. I must first make sense of what I am about to convey, before I can successfully communicate it. This of course I do through cycling experience and reflection and experimentation (the rehearsal process) And this will be personal to me, as it draws influence from my past experience, emotional state, belief system and imagination.

As, I read another paper, draw another diagram, adhere to the Learning Cycle, its all to easy to view the process as academic. I need to distance myself from that when engaged in reflection. Bring it back to the organic process.
I take heed of Boud & Walkers (1998) warning: "It is common for reflection to be treated as an intellectual exercise- a simple matter of thinking rigorously. However reflection is not solely a cognitive process: emotions are central to all learning."

Some criticism I have read, centred on the teaching profession. Raising the question, if  the educator has the expertise  to pass the skills onto others, and if the students are  emotionally  mature enough to develop them.
Practices mentioned above have also had critics: Moon (1999) regards Schon's reflection-in-action, as unobtainable. I feel this is wrong. Unless Moon is referring to something slightly different, the fine adjustments I make in real time within a scene, I attribute to Schon's theory.
A major criticism of Kolb's Learning Cycle, is that any or all of the four phases he identifies could occur simultaneously. (Jeffs and Smith 1999) others suggest phases can be bypassed altogether. This may be true, but for me, I'm happy to have a clear visual aid of the process. However, when I'm engaged in the process, the last thing I'm thinking of is the diagram.

Moon (1999) defines reflective practice as "a set of abilities and skills, to indicate the taking of a critical stance, an orientation to problem solving or state of mind."
As I further explore reflective thinking, I will adopt/ continue to use, some of the approaches mentioned above. Kolb,s Learning Cycle (and Honey & Mumfords revision, for that matter) is an affective way of structuring the experience-evaluation-evolution practice. And Schon's "in action" and "on action" are vital when working in a creative environment. Lastly, just the fact that by reading these different views on reflection, I'm now thinking about thinking, is surely a step in the right direction?

So, to sum up, I have always used reflection in my acting. The difference now is that it has an sense of structure/order. I have more tools at my disposal, more approaches  into my critical thinking. Plus, a journal, an invaluable reference and record of my growth as a practitioner of reflective thinking. I hope my development in this area will enhance the quality of my work, and better prepare me for a time when I want to communicate the craft to others.

Task 2b Journal writing experience

I am now writing my journal, and have tried out the suggestions in WBS3730 guide, with varying degrees of success.
Description:  As I enjoy writing, stories, the idea of establishing : what, where and when, was a matter of instinct when writing my journal. Plus, it gave each documented experience, context. Very important if I wish to refer back to the experience at a later date.
Initial Reflection: The questions raised in this suggestion, not only formed the building block for each journal entry, but seemed to cycle around, in situations where a experience contained twists and turns, new events, mini experiences informing the larger experiences.
Lists: I thought the idea of the list was a non starter for me, as I like sentence structure, a logical descriptive passage. However, I applied it to a piece of "reflective writing in anticipation of an event" and found the results very interesting. Looking back on the list, I was surprised at how logical it was. It had a path, it evolved as I was writing. What did become apparent was the fear of failing and the thoughts of success, appeared more than once in the list. Reasoning with my demons and allowing myself to indulge in the notion of triumph, seemed to be an on -going battle. It is in my head, so why shouldn't it be so on paper?
Evaluation: I found myself evaluating as I went along, documenting the experience. I will  try this as a form of closing statement, a general summing. A weakness I have with evaluation, is if something has gone well, I give it a mental tick and store it away. I seem to only reflect on things that need to be improved upon.
Graphs, Charts and Diagrams: This was the hardest form for me to adopt. Graphs and Charts, leave me cold. For me, the reflective process is organic, writing is organic. Graphs and Charts are clinical. Besides, if I want to reference the material later, a well structured sentence can transport me right back into the event the mood, the feelings. No graph is going to evoke that in me.
Diagrams, however I can use (in conjunction with a text.) I found the only way for me to do a diagram was to transfer the information, first generated in list form and identify similarities, family groupings. These I then boxed as off-shots of a central axis: The experience.
What If: As an user of Stanislavsky's "Magic If", I found the "what if" approach invaluable.
Here you can play out the scenario as many times as you like, evaluating and refining or pushing the parameters and observing.  For me, this is the most powerful tool in the reflective/ learning process.
Another view: Is another useful tool. Viewing the situation through someone else's eyes helps me to appreciated their point of view and also understand how my opinions and actions may be perceived by others.
I did not use this as the sole point of view in a journal entry, but as part of an account. This is also another way I play out scenarios in the "What if" approach.
Another view is a useful aid, as long as you are able to make an intelligent, rational, realistic characterization of the person in question. This is why I keep away from points of view of bags and tables.
The journal writing has proved an eye opener and an asset.
I will continue with the things that I feel are the body of a journal :  Description, initial reflection, and now include What If and Another View to fully explore each experience/ event.